Preply conducted a study and consulted a bullying expert to understand the emotional challenges faced and advice given by parents of bullied children.

Bullying is an ordeal no parent wishes upon their child. While the emotional toll on bullied children is widely recognized, a less-explored aspect is the challenge faced by parents who must watch their child endure this pain.

In this article, we delve deeper into this issue, uncovering the guidance and empowering words parents provide their children to turn adversity into resilience.

Our journey includes the strategies parents employ to help their children confront bullies and explores how adults themselves navigate similar situations. We conducted a survey to gain not only a deeper understanding of the emotional hurdles parents encounter but also the outcomes when children implement the advice they receive.

Read on to discover the language and strategies that empower individuals of all ages when faced with bullying, both through words and actions.

Key findings

• The majority (84%) of American parents report that their child has been bullied.
• Over a third of parents admit their child has missed school due to bullying.
• “Stop” is the top phrase (53%) parents teach their children to say when facing a bully.
• According to 3 in 5, their child telling a bully to “stop” has not resolved the problem.
• More than half (51%) report that they have experienced bullying as an adult.

Nearly a third of bullied children lose interest in social activities

A concerning 84% of American parents report that their child has been bullied, indicating a pervasive issue across the nation. Schools emerge as the primary setting for such incidents, accounting for a substantial 87% of cases. Online platforms, though lower in prevalence at 21%, are still a significant concern.

The distressing aspect of these statistics lies not only in their prevalence but also in the frequency of occurrences. On average, bullied American children face these confrontations twice per week.

Yet, the challenges extend beyond the act of bullying itself. When bullying is reported to authority figures such as teachers or other parents, 36% of parents find that their concerns remain unresolved, and 2 in 5 feel their grievances are not heard by educational institutions or other parents.

Interestingly, there is a gender-related nuance in the experiences of parents confronting bullying with authority figures. Fathers tend to report a slightly higher satisfaction rate, with 53% feeling heard, compared to mothers at 46%.

Bullying casts a shadow on its victims, manifesting in various emotional and psychological symptoms. Anxiety stands out as the most prevalent consequence, affecting 69% of bullied children. This heightened sense of unease is followed closely by reduced self-esteem, reported by 63% of parents.

The repercussions also extend to social engagements, with 32% of children showcasing a declining interest in social activities due to bullying. Unsurprisingly, only a meager 9% of parents believe that bullying has no impact on their child.

Additionally, the academic sphere is not immune to the repercussions of bullying. Over one-third of parents disclose that their children have missed school specifically because of bullying. And 1 in 3 parents notice a decline in their child’s academic performance as a direct consequence of bullying.

Bullying expert, Dr. Christopher Donoghue of Montclair State University, says, “People often underestimate the toll that bullying takes on children and adults other than the victims themselves. Bullying brings harm to the entire school community, including to the bullies.”

“Bullying can bring disruptions to the overall school climate that create barriers and harm to learning and child social development. Teachers and parents are often challenged under these circumstances to provide the appropriate kinds of care and attention that are needed.

“Parents often ask what to do when their children say they’ve been bullied. Oftentimes the first step needs to be self-care. Listen to what your child is saying and consider what emotions it might be bringing up inside of you. Repeat back what they have told you and make sure they know they’ve been heard and understood.”

“Stop” and “Leave me alone” are the most common phrases against bullying

Parents strive to empower their children with verbal and non-verbal tools to combat bullying effectively. Verbal communication skills are particularly significant in this context, as they help to empower children to respond assertively to bullies. For instance, 53% of parents have coached their child to respond firmly with a straightforward, “Stop,” when confronted by bullies.

Additionally, 51% suggest the phrase, “Leave me alone,” and a smaller percentage, 23%, advocate for, “Your words do not bother me.” These verbal phrases are tools that children can use to assert themselves and convey their boundaries. However, the effectiveness of these phrases varies, and a significant 3 out of 5 parents note that merely instructing the bully to “stop” hasn’t consistently mitigated the situation.

Sadly, according to Donoghue, “It’s not surprising that just standing up to the bully doesn’t do the trick. Bullies have more power than their victims, and that’s often why they initiated the behavior in the first place. Getting help is always the recommended alternative. It can be hard to tell a teacher right away but they can start by telling their friends and family as first steps.”

“Sometimes victims don’t even know who their bullies are. Anonymous posts on social media, messages in private group chats, and harmful comments made to others in their absence can lead to victimization through social isolation. For children who report they have no allies at school at all, parents should be even more proactive in getting them help.”

Many parents also acknowledge the importance of body language in addressing bullying. A notable 49% of parents emphasize the significance of a strong, confident posture when their child is facing a bully.

However, it’s noteworthy that over 1 in 5 parents haven’t broached the topic of body language with their children, indicating a potential area for improvement in empowering children to face bullies confidently.

The approach to physical retaliation varies widely among parents and across generations. Alarmingly, more than 2 in 5 parents have recommended that their children physically “fight back” to confront a bully, with 40% of fathers encouraging physical resistance compared to mothers at 34%.

Adults can be bullied, too

Bullying is not confined to childhood, with many Americans continuing to grapple with bullies in their day-to-day adult lives.

Interestingly, more than 1 in 4 adults admit to having been perpetrators of bullying at some point in their lives, with men, at 31%, more likely to have engaged in bullying than women, who report a rate of 24%.

However, when it comes to being on the receiving end of bullying as adults, the picture changes. A significant 51% of all adults disclose having experienced such treatment. Women, at a striking 59%, are more susceptible to adult bullying than men, who report a rate of 42%.

Generation-wise, Gen Xers emerge as the most affected demographic at 54%, closely trailed by boomers at 53%. Millennials and Gen Zers report rates of 51% and 41%, respectively.

The strategies adults employ to deal with bullying differ from how they coach their children. Over a third of bullied adults choose to limit their interactions with the bully, adopting a strategy of avoidance.

In contrast, an equal proportion – another third – opt to confront the issue head-on by addressing the bully directly. Breaking this down by gender, women (41%) are more likely to lean towards the avoidance strategy, while men (32%) are more inclined to confront their bully.

When identifying the sources of adult bullying, coworkers come to the forefront, with 28% of adults identifying them as the primary culprits. Intriguingly, friends, at 17%, are more likely to engage in bullying than ex-partners (15%) or even bosses (16%).

In fact, the workplace emerges as a significant battleground for this issue, with nearly 1 in 5 individuals having reported bullying to supervisors or HR. Alarmingly, 1 in 6 adults have even quit their jobs due to hostile work environments.

Resigning from a job due to bullying is notably more pronounced among women, with nearly 1 in 5 having taken this step. This is in stark contrast to the 1 in 9 men who have made a similar decision.

Preply understands the power of words

Words can hurt, but they can also heal. They can create divides, but they can also bridge gaps of misunderstanding. Bullying isn’t just about actions; it’s deeply intertwined with the nuances of communication: what we say, how we say it, and the intentions behind our words.

This concept underscores the profound importance of effective communication in every aspect of life. Clear understanding, skillful articulation, and empathetic language can prevent conflicts, soothe emotions, and nurture deeper connections.

As parents navigate the challenges of bullying, the need for assertive and compassionate communication becomes paramount. It’s here that the value of Preply comes into focus.

At Preply, we don’t merely teach words; we teach the art of communication. Our online tutoring platform empowers learners to comprehend not only the literal meaning of words but also the emotions and intentions that underlie them. We understand that communication is not one-size-fits-all; it’s shaped by culture, context, and language.

Our language tutors also recognize the importance of navigating different communication styles between cultures, including the use of slang, which can sometimes come across as offensive, or bullying, in certain languages depending on who you’re speaking with. We equip learners with the verbal tools necessary to navigate these subtleties with cultural sensitivity and respect.

By embracing the power of words and fostering a culture of understanding, Preply stands alongside parents and learners alike, ready to make a difference – one word at a time, in every language and across every culture.

Preply – https://preply.com/

Methodology

We sought to obtain a sizable sample because a large sample size has the potential to offer a more precise portrayal of a population, therefore allowing for generalization of the results to a larger group. This reduces the margin of error and helps make more informed decisions based on the data collected. With this larger sample size, we have more data points for statistical analysis, increasing the reliability and validity of our conclusions. This enables us to draw stronger inferences about population perceptions on bullying as a whole.

On September 29, we surveyed 987 American parents whose children have experienced bullying. Respondents ranged in age from 18 to 76 years old, and were 49% female, 49% male, 2% nonbinary.